| by Mariana Siqueira
Course teaches women how to become “magnetic” goddesses
A Brazilian psychologist is on a mission to reinforce gender stereotypes.
We all know finding your better half, soul mate, or just someone to put up with you, is no easy task. But apparently most of us women are doing it all wrong, which is why we just can’t seem to find the right guy. Luckily for us gals, Brazilian psychologist Eliete Amélia de Medeiros has developed a crash course in which she promises to transform ordinary, hopeless women like us into “magnetic” goddesses that no man can resist.
For 1,000 reais, approximately £300, women can attend a day course provided by de Medeiros’s “heart hunting” agency
Eclipse Love in São Paulo. Eliete has worked as a match-maker for 15 years and according to her website has a 70% success rate. She charges up to £3,600 for her services and currently has 2,500 clients.
The course is divided into four stages and aims to make women appear more attractive and assertive to men:
1. Self-awareness dynamics – understanding the different roles of men and women in a relationship
2. Etiquette – how to behave on a date
3. Make-up skills
4. Wardrobe – how to create your own style
So there you have it. The four simple skills you need to master to become irresistible to any man you desire. Easy.
The course kicks off with an image of a burning bra on a powerpoint, “If we want long lasting relationships we need to redeem femininity and tolerance,” Eliete lectures. While this goes on, Simone de Beauvoir turns in her grave. Hang in there, Simone, it gets worse.
Women should never speak directly to waiters and never talk about their careers
During the etiquette section of the course, Eliete opens our eyes to everything we’ve been doing wrong on dates. According to the psychologist, women should never speak directly to waiters when dining in a restaurant and never speak about their careers, as that’s for the man to talk about – you don’t want to intimidate him with your independence. Other issues such as politics, depression and other diseases should be avoided, men don’t want to hear about your troubles!
A man should always pay for dinner and the woman should never sleep with him on the first date. However, if she’s feeling feisty the woman is allowed to call him the next day and thank him for the date. Hot. When asked what she thought about the controversy and outrage that has surfaced online about her course, especially from feminist publications and organisations, Medeiros told Planet Ivy that feminists are entitled to their own opinions but the fact is, her course has successfully worked in joining plenty of happy couples.
Medeiros points out that she didn’t invent this code of etiquette, she is only sharing strategies that have statistically proven to be successful in finding love. “What’s wrong with reminding women that it’s not elegant to laugh too loudly or swear when on a date?” she questions me. “Everything!” I want to reply, but manage to hold back.
One slide on her powerpoint states that 50% of men don’t want partners who are overweight. Eliete’s “research” shows that chubby women can’t embody the “magnetism” that she teaches. Eliete herself doesn’t take on overweight clients.
In the make-up lesson, women learn what are the best tones and products for their skin. Not wearing make-up isn’t an option: “A clean face makes you look sloppy.” I ask Medeiros about women who don’t wear make-up, don’t particularly care about fashion and are fulfilled and in happy relationships. “Each woman has her individual charm, and many of these women do find love, but the ones who feel they need more preparation love the course since it’s based on research with men of all ages and of a high social class”, she assures.
Afterwards, fashion tips are bestowed on the students. “I know everyone likes wearing flats and sandals, but when you want to attract a man, you have to wear heels,” she teaches. There are no exceptions to this rule. When at the beach, by the pool or in any other situation where a woman won’t be able to wear the appropriate footwear, she should always walk on tiptoes. This will attract attention and make you look elegant.
Alright, alright, but what about celebrating real beauty? Accepting and loving yourself as you are, aren’t these maybe better ways in finding true love? “We all know men are extremely visual. From my experience at Eclipse Love no one wants to be with an ugly partner.”
She goes on to tell me that she believes “Women are blessed for having the ability to beautify the world, have children and build a family,” and I am left defeated: it’s hard to discuss gender roles with someone who appears to have stepped out of the 1940s.
At the end of the course, when students have supposedly become masters of seduction, they are put to the test and sent to a downtown bar to practice their newfound “magnetism”. But before that, Medeiros puts students through a “self-esteem” exercise and (ironically) teaches the women that they should, above all, love themselves.
As for the gentlemen, rest assured, Eliete is developing a similar course that aims at teaching men how to seduce women and how to become more confident. We’re sure it will cover all the essentials of what it means to be a man: smoking cigars, drinking whiskey and driving sports cars.
